Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Daddy Diaries from The Food Alphabet - Part 1 of many more to come.. Never Lose Hope


Hi everyone!  Just in case this is the first time you are reading my blog, well I'd like to introduce myself.  I'm Stonibert Lim, author of The Food Alphabet and a recently turned Dad to my first child.  I would like to share with everyone a glimpse of how life has been to us as a family.  

Ours is a journey of ups and downs, hits and misses, joys and tears as we discover the wonders of parenthood.  I was quite hesitant to share this private part of my life, but come to think of it, I chose to inspire others and give hope to those who need it, just like us before, who have been trying to conceive our own child.  

This Three words I pass on to you.. Never Lose Hope.

Me and my wife Joan, started our love story young and got married in May of 2003 when I was still around 26, that was the time of the SARS outbreak and we couldn't take the risk of going international on our honeymoon so we settled for Bohol in Visayas, then for the first few years of our marriage, we were just enjoying well, the married life.  Holding each other's hands, taking trips here and there, and then at around 2005, we discovered via a PT, that Joan was pregnant!   Oh how happy we were with the good news that has come forth us, we went to our OB with tears of joy, but our tears of joy, soon became grief when our OB confirmed to us that we have had a false pregnancy, we had what you called a "Bugok" or a "Blighted Ovum".   

A blighted ovum is a miscarriage in which the baby does not develop, but a gestational sac continues to grow and the woman may continue to experience pregnancy symptoms. A blighted ovum can be a missed miscarriage treated via D & C or may end naturally.  So we had to have Joan treated via D & C, at that time I can feel the pain that her emotions were playing on her.  It was indeed a very heart-breaking time for both of us, I could do nothing else but to comfort her during our time of grief and sorrow, saying to her, "Don't worry, we will have another baby, and God will give our baby to us in his time"

But time was not on our side, years passed and we have not had any success with conceiving our child, we have had our share of visits to countless OBs, doing tests after tests on Joan and me as well, to find out what is keeping us from conceiving our baby, maybe its her PCOS, Polly-cystic ovaries? or my Varicocele?  We visit churches (Obando Church), temples, prayed and prayed that somehow, someway we could conceive our baby.

Sad to say the pressure was besetting us, she had grown tired and envious of our other friends and relatives having their own young ones, celebrating baptisms and birthdays here and there, I can see Joan wipe her tears as she quietly wishes the best for us.  

The path to parenthood was not an easy one for us, countless visits to hospitals, doing IUI procedures, gave us hope once more that this maybe our chance to conceiving, but once, twice, thrice and four times we did the procedure only yielded negative results, after all has  been done, our OB had to recommend to us to do IVF, saying it was the only way for us to conceive a child.

What is IVF?  IVF is the process by which eggs are removed from your ovaries and mixed with sperm in a laboratory culture dish, then fertilized and implanted to the ovary of the woman.  Many quite famous IVF centers around the world include Taiwan, Singapore, Hong Kong and a whole lot more, these procedures are very costly and takes up a whole lot of your time and effort, as you may have to stay in the country of your choice of the procedure.  But still, even if the success rate of that particular fertility clinic is high, it is still not 100%

Thinking of our busy schedules and dwindling savings, we looked for an alternative in the metro, one of which is in Makati namely KATO Repro Biotech Center, located on the 8th floor of the Enterprise Building in Makati City, I have heard of many success stories as well with Kato, so we decided to give it a try. Then seeing our co-clinic mates getting positive results one by one, we had high hopes that this may be the one for us.  So last year 2014, around July we proceeded with the IVF procedure and thus continued with the implant process, it was a great moment of happiness and excitement that was upon us, thinking positively this could be the one for us.

But as the days passed, we returned to our clinic at Kato to confirm our pregnancy, sad news came to us that the embryo implanted in Joan, did not mature and develop, and that we will not have our pregnancy this time... I suddenly felt the world fell on me, Joan was in tears, sobbing with grief, crying to me saying, "We did all that we can do, why is this happening to us"  I can only console her as I myself was drowning in my tears, thinking this may be our destiny, that we were meant to be without a child, but in my mind I just kept saying to myself and Joan, at least we tried rather than not having tried at all.  Looking back on our past someday, we knew we did it all.  

I know for a fact that this was indeed a one-time deal for us, that after this procedure and all that we have been through, all that we have spent and our becoming of age, that this is the only chance we got of conceiving a child.  We lost hope, we cried and we gave up, and all I can say to Joan was "Maybe it was not meant to be", Joan was tired, stressed and restless as well, I know it took a lot from her from enduring those injections and countless visits, to emotional stress, then a friend just recommended to us to see a Chinese doctor who gave us Chinese medicines (to brew into soup) and have Joan take regularly for her to recover and make her body and system strong again.  

As the months passed by, Joan was wondering why her period was delayed again (this is normal for her since she is PCOS), that was early November, as she wanted to take medicine for her menses to arrive, but as she just wanted to make sure, she also took a PT.


And this was the start of a new chapter in our married life... (To be continued)

Three Words... Never Lose Hope.

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24 comments :

  1. reading this got me teary-eyed, abet. Paul and I can totally feel the emotional roller coaster that you guys have been through and every time we feel frustrated, we remind ourselves of your story and that has been giving us hope these past few months. we're so happy that you guys are finally blessed with your little bundle of joy. can't wait to see Sky soon!

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    1. Thanks Fran and Paul!!! All in God's time =) Wishing the best for both of you.

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  2. Awww. So happy you have your little one now. The wait is over and all the love you never thought you had comes forward. Really so happy for you guys. Looking forward to meeting him! In the meantime, enjoy Daddy duties. They grow up so fast!

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  3. Awww. So happy you have your little one now. The wait is over and all the love you never thought you had comes forward. Really so happy for you guys. Looking forward to meeting him! In the meantime, enjoy Daddy duties. They grow up so fast!

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    1. Thank you Ray and Love Lynne! Lead us the way =) Glad that Skyler will have a bigger brother to look up to with Ethan.

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  4. Bitin naman! Next chapter please! But seriously super congrats to you both!

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    1. Hi Ro and Peter! Thank you so much! Very happy to be new parents!

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  5. Abet and Joan!!! Your story is really inspiring!!! <3 Baby Skyer is so blessed to have you and Joan as parents. :)

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    1. Thanks Jill =) Baby Skyler and us will see you guys soon!

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  6. Congratulations again for having a baby! I know many couples experience the same sad episodes and some have given up because of overwhelming emotions and tight budget/resources to try other ways to conceive a child. You are blessed to experience being a parent. I hope to see the new baby member of KTG soon! Cute! :)

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  7. Syet. Naluha ako :((


    Pero Manly Tears.

    At dalawa lang.

    Hahaha :))

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  9. Sir.. I'm proud to have met you and ma'am... For always staying strong and never giving up! For giving it your all and making things happen.

    Remember... this is just the beginning. Tuloy tuloy na yan sir... :D :D :D

    Everything in God's Time po :D :D :D

    God Bless po to you and your family...
    Hope to see the cutie pie soon!!
    We miss you all.

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    1. Hi Jeng, Thank you!!! We will see you guys soon!!!

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  10. Very very happy for you and Joan! Looking forward to reading the rest of your story. Congratulations again :)

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    1. Thanks Martha... I'm looking forward as well to being to a dad to our Skyler. Will continue to share my story to inspire others.

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  11. Congratulations! Glad to know such inspiring story. Right now, my husband and I still keep on trying. Your post give us hope. Hope you don't mind if I may asked who and where ung Chinese doctor na ngpa-checkup kayo. Thanks!

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  12. Hello! Your story is very inspiring. We are going through the same journey. Hope it would be okay to ask for your Chinese Doctor. Thank you, Sir!

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  13. Awww.. What a nice ending. You got me teary-eyed while reading your blog post. I think nothing can compares to the joy of having a kid. I remember having difficulty during my pregnancy. Good thing, I have a very supportive husband to aid me during those times. Also my OB suggested that I ate plenty of healthy food for pregnant women.

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  14. Thank you for sharing your story. Hope you could share also the name of your chinese doctor. Thank you

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